My Expectations for My 27-Year-Old-Self At Age Seventeen Versus Now

It is truly a beautiful day to turn 27.

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Then: I will make lots of money by pursuing my dream career.

Now: I will make little money by pursuing my dream career. 

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Then: I will wear lots of skater skirts and lace-front tops. 

Now: I will not wear lots of skater skirts and lace-front tops because it is not 2014. Instead, I will wear clothes that I will feel weird about in ten years from now.

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Then: I will have an iconic friend group that I see all the time because everyone lives within two miles of each other. 

Now: When life gets busy, I’ll do what I do best: Text, “I miss you so much. Going to dinner would be a dream, but I can’t stop crying/sweating profusely over a deadline. Can we hang next week?” In addition, I will send five-minute-long voice notes that are 40% apologies for how long the voice note is, 10% gossip, 30% actual information and 20% “You know how I get.”

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Then: I will look more beautiful. 

Now: I will look almost the exact same as I did at seventeen–thank goodness! 

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Then: I will have a new favorite movie. 

Now: Girl, you thought… Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is still number one. While we’ve been open to a new fave, no one can seem to top the guy who just wants to make the most of an average day. Maybe we’re still learning from him.

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Then: I will call my family a few times a month, because we’re close.

Now: I will limit my calls to a few times a week to demonstrate some semblance of independence unless my windshield wipers do that thing again.

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Then: I will host elaborate dinner parties for a mix of friends, colleagues and celebrities. 

Now: I will light some candles and text my friends to come over on a Tuesday night. Sometimes I will cook. Other times I will simply serve the greatest hits of Trader Joe’s on a cutting board. I will say things like, “You’re too good for him!” or “I’m gonna eat this fig jam out of the jar,” and I will feel better about the world. 

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Then: I will drive a powder-blue Volkswagen Beetle Convertible.

Now: I will praise whoever’s UP THERE each time my Ford drives normally. I will abstain from kissing my mechanic on the mouth when the car is not working and he fixes it. 

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Then: I will begin dating my Soulmate who I will not marry until I’m approximately 33-years-old. This person is ~fingers crossed~ Andrew Garfield.

Now: I will date someone who is kind, understanding of my time and shows their love for me with ease. A soulmate would be nice, but to think I have just one… Having an immense capacity for love implies I will love a lot in many different ways. I will get married when I feel comfortable in my own needs. Also this person is ~fingers crossed~ Andrew Garfield.

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Then: I will enjoy my 27th year.

Now: We can keep this one.