Mail-In: My Dad
He edits this column. Thought he should write at least something.
Good advice can be found anywhere from anyone. Mail-In provides hyper-specific advice for the sweeties by the sweeties.
One of my early indications that I had a good dad was when my mom told me, “He’s really bad with blood and needles you know.” I also have an aversion to blood and needles, always needing someone to be there to hold my hand and on occasion, restrain me. Through childhood, adolescence and adulthood, my dad has held my hand for the flu shots, iron tests and that one very traumatizing medical laceration of a staph infection. Never saw him wince once. Parenthood is not for the faint of heart. To give it a good, honest go you actually have to face your fears not only for yourself but for another person who contains many tears.
I feel immeasurably lucky to have a dad who consistently gives it a good, honest go for me. Whether it’s a bloody scrape he has cleaned up or a heartbreak he talked me through in a two-hour-long FaceTime call, I am constantly reminded what it means to be truly chosen, liked and loved.
He does fatherhood quite well.
Here are his thoughts.
Maintaining Decades-Long Friendships: Not difficult if both parties are willing. One key is to never begin the occasional conversations with an apology about how long it’s been since your last conversation. Just pick up where you left off.
Life Lesson(s) You Hope To Impart on Your Children: Treat others kindly. Avoid personal entitlement. Be confident in your abilities, and be comfortable sharing them.
Navigating Gen Z Slang with Grace: Use it as little as possible. There’s almost nothing worse than a Boomer trying to improperly Z-slang their way through a conversation. Stay in your lane.
Starting Hobbies: Hobbies are a tough one. You have to want to pursue and refine a skillset outside of one that is traditionally an income-producer. Do something that brings YOU satisfaction.
Consoling Adult Daughters As They Navigate Romantic Relationships With Men: First, don’t live your daughter’s life for her. Her experiences and mistakes are unique and special. She will learn from them on HER timeline. Second, just listen. She will invariably tell you why something isn’t right. Sometimes it just needs to be read back to her, but slowly and with conviction. Third, and just a reminder: We’re all imperfect people, with our own preconceptions, biases, histories and hang-ups. That will always be amplified when it comes to navigating intimate relationships.
A Recommendation for New Fathers: Now that you understand what unconditional love is, accept your new normal. Your thoughts and decisions will now be framed by what’s best for your children. Not you. Embrace that.
How To Contribute Good In The World: That's easy. Be yourself. Takes care of itself.
xx, Dad